Raise your hand if you have ever felt guilty about your “performance” as a mom. *Raises hand.* Most of us would not say we are a “guilt-free mom.” Guilt seems to come pretty easily to us. So many things are telling us what we should or should not be doing. And if you focus on all that, you can get overwhelmed and the guilty thoughts creep in to your head. In light of that, I wanted to share with you:
Tips to Becoming a Guilt-Free Mom
Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Moms
Yes, the mom in car line may look like she has it all together – make-up perfect, not a hair out of place, clothes always wrinkle-free and matching. Her kids’ clothes look like she irons them each and every day. They file out of the car like well-trained soldiers who always know just what they are supposed to do. They appear to have everything figured out.
What you don’t see is the yelling match that occurred over breakfast and that no one spoke to each other on the car ride to school. You didn’t see that, the clothes may look wrinkle-free, but they are only that way because they were the only things hanging in the closet because everything else was dirty.
And while you are busy comparing yourself to her, she is busy looking at you and the smiles on your kids’ faces as you say goodbye. She is wishing her kids looked that happy and content. No one is perfect. No one has it all together. So don’t cheat yourself by comparing.
The Mom with the Longest To-Do List Doesn’t Win
Seriously. Where did we come up with this idea that busy = successful? Just because you are running around all day everyday doing everything under the sun doesn’t make you a better mom. Learn when to say “no” and skim down your activities.
Get in Some “Me Time.”
It is easy to focus on the needs of our family and fail to take care of ourself. Don’t forget to take time JUST FOR YOU. Whether that is a monthly massage, pedicure, weekly night out with friends, or just a time each day to enjoy a cup of coffee in silence – take that time. You will find you are all-around a better and happier mom when you have done so.
Stop Trying to Control Everything
It is impossible to control everything. So just let some things go. Learn to be more flexible. It takes the pressure off of you.
Make Time to Exercise
You know I am all about healthy living and exercise. That is because it is more about just losing weight. Exercising can help you to burn off steam, make you feel good about yourself and your body, and even be a part of the “me time” we already talked about. It has actually been found to be very beneficial for your mental health when you exercise. (You can read more about this HERE.) No matter how busy you get, be sure to MAKE the time to exercise.
Find Your Balance
You know yourself. You know your family. Find the right balance that works for YOU. Take the time to decide what is important and what you want to be the goal of your family and time. Then, all your decisions on what to do and when can be filtered through that goal. If it doesn’t take you towards your goal, then it doesn’t belong.
Moms, guilt will try to creep in. And I just want to tell you – DON’T LISTEN TO IT! You are a good mom. You are doing a great job! Just remember these tips and you will find yourself becoming a guilt-free mom!